Tuesday, August 7, 2007

5 Reasons to hire a private investigator

A professional does a better job investigating adultery
Winning custody today is nearly impossible. A courtroom is no place for the weak at heart and poor planner. Will you fail to plan? If so plan to fail. A private investigator can offer a real solution to strategy for winning. Here’s what to consider in your day in court.

Discovering an affair in your relationship is indispensable, but that’s just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children. A judge will decide for you based on the EVIDENCE, who is the best custodial parent. If your state considers infidelity grounds for divorce, PROOF is essential! If you are party to a legal action, your observations, discoveries and testimony is already tainted with BIAS. This article will give you a few insights to consider. I’ve identified 5 key reasons you SHOULD hire an investigator and in a few words examine the reasons why.

1. Time is of the essence. Depending on the length of an affair, your spouse may end it without ample opportunity for you to document it. On average affairs last six months to a year and then end without your knowledge. However, in some cases, your spouse will divorce you for the mistress. So waiting to prove your case may be too late. Don’t let the opportunity escape you.

2. Satisfy your “Need to Know.” Over three decades my agencies have worked for countless clients who spanned the US. More than half of these clients had a “need to know.” Finding out the extent of an affair, the identity of the mistress/paramour is indispensable. If you feel a gripping urgency to gratify this need, recognize you share in the feelings with a vast number of others.

3. You should not witness the affair yourself. In one case a client insisted on witnessing her husband activities. I discouraged her. We placed him under surveillance for a “nooner,” a lunchtime rendezvous. It was a successful surveillance with an unexpected twist. The subject united with his mistress as we anticipated. They choose a remote parking area in front of a river bank on a dead end street. This was a favorite hangout for teenagers surrounded by woods and plenty of cover from public view. We shadowed them successfully. The hood of his vehicle served their desires and clandestine behavior. Roughly fifteen minutes passed and a female emerged from the nearby woods. She moved toward us. We were concerned she would blow our cover. To our shock it was our client! She was so compelled to witness the affair for herself that she walked through heavy woods and brush to do so. Auspiciously for us and her spouse, no confrontation ensued. Now if it weren’t so heartbreaking, the episode would be humorous. Her garb was utterly out of place. A full length white dress was the wrong attire for the woods. It seemed she never realized her mistake. Take my advice, please leave investigations to professionals. (Related: Retaliation affair)

4. Professional Testimony frequently prevails! Finding yourself seated in a courtroom with two opposing attorneys, court employees, is the wrong time to realize how unprepared you are for day. You will need testimony from others. Friends can offer some degree of support for your case. They may hold up under cross examination. If your witness list only includes family and friends, be prepared for a frightful revelation. Even though they are trustworthy, try convincing a court system. You are fighting a losing battle. Their innate bias and testimony bear little weight in the final assessment. Are you confident your witnesses’ testimony will have credibility? Do they possess the experience you need? After all, you have one chance in most family courtrooms. What if your witness is caught in a lie? You’re finished! A judge will rule against you for bringing in someone who is not forthright. Court testimony is enormously helpful, it often decides legal cases. My testimony has always made a positive difference. If your investigator obtains evidence for your case, use it to your family’s advantage. Your kids may just have to visit as an alternative to dwelling with you.

5. Your emotions could get you thrown in jail. Domestic investigations always bring concern for private investigative agencies. One notable case resulted in vehicular homicide. The client asked her hired PI for the rendezvous site. She arrived in a rage killing her spouse with the SUV. Clearly, when an investigation is warranted, hire a professional and keep your distance. If you conduct your own surveillance, be prepared to defend yourself against a stalking charge. Keep your distance and your head!

For additional information on contracting a PI discover how with my new paperback, "The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." I included an entire chapter on the topic.

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Yoga Tips That May Encourage Weight Maintenance or Loss

Summary: Denise Benitez is the owner of Seattle Yoga Arts and collaborated with Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center to conduct a study that looked at the effect of yoga on weight. The study was published in the journal Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine. Below are some of the tips offered by Benitez to lose or maintain weight. (Related: How to lose weight during middle age)

* Practice in a room without mirrors, and pay more attention to your internal experience than to your outer performance.
* Learn to feel sensations more and more subtly, so that you become deeply involved in and curious about small movements, sometimes called micro-movements.
* In your poses, find an edge for yourself where you are challenged but not overwhelmed. At this edge, practice maintaining a clear, open and accepting mental state.
* Give yourself permission to rest when you feel overworked.
* Pay close attention to what you are saying to yourself as you practice, and make an intentional effort to appreciate your own efforts and innate goodness.

* Go to class faithfully, arrive early, and talk to a few people in yourPhoto of a man performing a yoga asana. class before class begins.
* Buy your own yoga mat and yoga wear and bring it to class.
* Realize that the development of qualities like patience, discipline, wisdom, right effort, kindness, gratitude and many others will arise from your yoga practice. These qualities create a steady and soft mind.
* Find a teacher who offers a balance of gentleness and firmness and whose teaching inspires you to practice from your highest self. (Related: Yoga lifetyle)
* Recognize that simply attending class is a major statement of courage, self-care, and positive momentum. Realize that you are inspiring others as you become more true to your deepest desires.

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How to be a sexy woman?

Tips and ideas for women to be sexy, seductive, and stylish
Since we published the article How to be an attractive woman, we have received dozens of emails from women all over the world, asking several somewhat related questions: How to be sexy, how to be seductive, how to dress sexy, how to look/feel attractive/sexy/seductive, ideas to get your boyfriend to find you more attractive, how to be seductive/seductive dressing for women, tips for wearing sexy clothes, and many others. This article will try to answer all of these questions.

Who is a sexy woman?

* She is not a bad person. Even mothers or religious/devout women can be sexy too. There is nothing wrong with being sexy.
* You don't have to be sexy for a man. You can be one just for your own happiness. You can also be one even when you are alone and no one is looking at you. It is not something that you do to please others; you can do it for yourself - this is a lifestyle.
* You do not have to dress provocatively or expose skin that makes you uncomfortable.
* You do not have to spend a million dollars.
* You do not need a perfect body of a model or a movie star. I have seen a lot of women thatPhoto of a sexy woman of Asian and Hispanic origin wearing a white tube top with low riding jeans have great bodies or unlimited money

So how to become one?

You will need four things and let us spend time on each one of them in detail.

* Style
o Develop your own. It is OK to learn from celebrities, idols, models, etc. but eventually you need a style that works for you.
o Apply the style to everything about you: hair, clothing, accessories, makeup.
o Pay attention to detail. Some tips - do not ever use cheap/dirty underwear just because no one is going to see it, or not clean your shoes, or have a messy purse, or skip on personal hygiene (regular showers, oral hygiene, women's personal hygiene, hair care, etc.).
o It is OK to have few clothes but they should be in good shape and fit you well. Show what is good about your body and hide what is not so good.
o Learn other things that sexy women have: flirtatious, charming, desirable, and above all, fun to be around.

* Behavior/personality/etiquette
o No matter how good looking you are; if you do not behave like a sexy lady, it doesn't matter. So learnPicture of a Latina woman with an attitude that shows off her confidence as a woman all the etiquettes and tricks that a sexy woman has. If it means attending an etiquette or finishing or modeling school, do it. It is worth the investment.
o Stop being mean or nasty or obnoxious or arrogant or bitchy. People will love you if you are sweet and polite and a pleasant woman to be with.
* Posture
o In other words, how you carry yourself around. As I said before, forget if you are short or fat or old, always carry yourself around as a sexy woman. Stand straight with your head high and walk like a model. (Related article: Good posture)
o If you don't know how to do this, it is good to watch television and/or attend a school for models. I also recommend that you take dancing lessons. Not to mention the importance of exercising regularly.

* Voice/talk
o It can make all the difference. Now not much can be done about your actual voice since that is Nature's gift but you can still do a lot about how you talk. Learn to speak seductively and you will notice that immediately people pay attention to you. A voice coach can help you do that.
o Keep yourself informed on the basics. If you are clueless on what is going on, people will think of you as an airhead. You don't have to be an expert in anything but if you have enough knowledge about some simple facts related to fashion, politics, business, gossip, current events, movies, etc., you will be alright in most situations. If you don't know anything about a topic, admit it, and ask questions. And then listen with rapt attention. Men love an attentive woman and find her very sexy.

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Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Tips for Visitors to Hong Kong

Hong Kong, or to give its more formal title, Hong Kong - Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China, is a busy vibrant place with an intriguing history. A cultural clash that seems to work, with Chinese and British co-existing, Hong Kong is found nestled in the eastern side of the Pearl River Delta, on the south-eastern coast of China.
In January 1841, the Ch'ing Dynasty was defeated during the First Opium War and Hong Kong quickly became a British colony. In 1898, the New Territories — a rural area north of Boundary Street in the Kowloon district of Hong Kong — were leased to Britain for 99 years. So, in 1997 Hong Kong was handed back to the People's Republic of China.

However, this did little to change the way of life in Hong Kong and it remains a wonderfully unique place to visit and enjoy.

Getting Around

Once you have arrived in Hong Kong, either by boat or by airplane, as there is a seaport and airport, there is a fantastic public transport system for easy travelling. Buses have internal matrix signs giving details of not only the next stop, but the estimated time of arrival (eta) and nearby major landmarks and hotels. The Mass Transit Railway (HK's equivalent of the London Underground) is clean and runs like clockwork, and the ferries between Hong Kong island, the mainland and the outlying islands are cheap and offer great views. Here are some handy hints for getting around:

* As soon as you can, buy an Octopus Card or Bat Dat Toong (a regular one, not a tourist keepsake). You can load these up with credit and then all you have to do to pay for travel is swipe the card over the conveniently placed pads. You can even use them to pay for goods in some shops.

* Taxis are plentiful but if you're planning a night out, make sure you have something with your hotel name and address on it, preferably in Cantonese and English. Otherwise, you may end up on a magical mystery tour...

* The Star Ferry (between Kowloon and Hong Kong Island) is extremely cheap and gives you some of the best views of the city.

* If you use cash, rather than an Octopus Card (really, these are worth it!), then the buses need exact change.

* Other forms of public transport, like rickshaws, trams and rentable bicycles are all worth a bash - and are inexpensive too.


It is possible to find just about any kind of cuisine in Hong Kong. From noodle bars that are little more than a hole in a wall to big, posh restaurants, you can get pretty much any kind of food you like. You could even find yourself sitting in a wood panelled room with stuffed deer heads on the walls, eating haggis and mash. However, if you want to try out the local dishes, here are a few useful nuggets for eating out in Honkers1:

* 'Beef', especially in a cheaper establishment, doesn't necessarily mean the meat from a cow; it may also include offal.

* 'Vegetarian' meals sometimes include chicken meat.

* Don't wear pale colours until you've got the hang of chopsticks.

* If in doubt, go for things you can point at.

* Alcohol tends to be very expensive, but most hotels and bars have a happy hour with two for one deals and similar on beers, wines and spirits of all sorts.

* Watch the locals - they will hold their bowls of noodles close to their mouths and shovel the food in. Not always attractive, but so much easier.

* Although you can't go a couple of steps without tripping over someone trying to sell you food, noodle bars at lunchtimes are exceptionally busy.

* Some places may look tatty, but don't let this put you off - the food is usually very good (and very cheap).

* Finally, don't be afraid to try it. It won't taste like your usual Chinese take-away - it'll be much, much better!


When you've finished stuffing yourself silly, take a saunter down Gascoigne Road on the Kowloon Peninsula (take the MTR to Jordan, then head north up Nathan Road - Gascoigne Road is on your right). It is rammed with the cheapest clothes shops you may ever have seen. There are many bargains to be had if you are prepared to root around a bit.

On the other side of the coin, avoid the Temple Street night market, as it is largely full of 'tat' and rip-off designer goods. By all means take a look, but don't expect to find much worth buying, unless you like fake Gucci...

Things to See and Do

Besides wandering around the city and marvelling at the huge glassy skyscrapers, you may also want to check out the following:

* The giant Buddha statue on Lantau Island is a ferry ride and bus journey away, and it is a staggering sight. However, there is a massive flight of stairs to climb if you want to get up close and personal with him!

* No trip to Hong Kong is complete without a tram ride up to Victoria Peak. Pick a clear day (or night) for classic views over the city.

* Not to be missed is the ancient Man Mo temple on Hollywood Road, Hong Kong Island. Even though it nestles neatly between hundred-storey blocks of flats, it has an especially calming ambience.

* If you like a flutter, why not take in some horse-racing at the Happy Valley Racecourse.

The real charm of visiting Hong Kong though is just being able to wander the streets and take in the city itself. There are so many contrasts - towering skyscrapers right next to little crumbling buildings with corrugated iron roofs, wealthy business people strutting past little old men beating out scrap metal in the gutter, the city itself right up against mountains and forests.

When to Visit

Weatherwise, October, November and most of December are the best months to go to Hong Kong. You can expect sunshine and clear skies, without the expensive hotel rates that accompany the high season of March to April. Bear in mind that travel can be difficult during Chinese New Year (late January/ early February). Expect considerable heat, humidity and showers during the rainy season of June to September.

Hong Kong really lets its hair down for two major parties. One of these is the traditional Chinese New Year celebrations with lion dances, fireworks and colourful parades, but it is worth noting that during the New Year festivities many shops and restaurants close for a full week! The other major excuse for a 'knees-up' is the Hong Kong Rugby Sevens tournament, which attracts rugby fans from all over the world. Whatever time of year you might choose to visit Hong Kong though, make sure you are aware of the political environment too!

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